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The Magic Happens in the Messy Middle: Why Progress Beats Perfection Every Time

What if I told you that the person who stumbles forward is actually winning against the person who stands perfectly still?


Last week, I watched something beautiful unfold. A client who hadn't left their house in months took three steps out their front door, turned around, and went back inside. By perfectionist standards, this might seem like failure. But here's what really happened: those three steps represented months of courage building, trust developing, and hope growing.

That's the magic of progress over perfection – and it's about to change how you see growth forever.


The Perfection Trap That's Stealing Your Joy

Picture this: You're standing at the edge of a swimming pool, waiting for the "perfect" moment to dive in. The water temperature needs to be just right, your technique flawless, and your confidence unshakeable. Meanwhile, someone else cannonballs in with terrible form but emerges laughing, refreshed, and ready for more.


Who's actually swimming?

Perfectionism doesn't just delay progress – it murders it. When we demand flawless execution, we create an impossible standard that keeps us frozen in place. This is especially true for individuals navigating autism, ADHD, anxiety, or depression, where the inner critic already works overtime.


What Progress Actually Looks Like (Spoiler: It's Messier Than You Think)


Real progress isn't a straight line up a mountain. It's more like a toddler learning to walk; wobbly, unpredictable, with plenty of falls, but undeniably moving forward.


Here's what genuine progress looks like in real life:

For someone with social anxiety:

  • Week 1: Makes eye contact with the cashier

  • Week 3: Says "thank you" out loud

  • Week 6: Asks where the bathroom is

  • Week 10: Has a 2-minute conversation with a neighbor


For someone building independence:

  • Day 1: Watches someone else cook pasta

  • Day 5: Boils water successfully

  • Day 12: Makes pasta with help

  • Day 20: Cooks a complete meal (even if the sauce is a bit lumpy)


For someone managing ADHD:

  • Monday: Remembers to take medication

  • Tuesday: Forgets medication but remembers by lunch

  • Wednesday: Takes medication and completes one task

  • Thursday: Has a "brain fog" day but shows self-compassion


Notice something? Each step builds on the last, creating momentum that perfectionism could never achieve.


Elderly woman in sunglasses, wearing a light blue hoodie, touches a smartphone on her arm in a sunny outdoor park with green trees.

The Neuroscience of Small Wins

Here's something fascinating: your brain doesn't distinguish between big victories and small ones when it comes to releasing dopamine (the "feel-good" chemical that motivates us to keep going).


Every time you acknowledge progress, no matter how small, you're rewiring your brain for success. You're creating neural pathways that say, "I can do hard things. I am capable of growth. I am worth celebrating."


This is why we document every small victory in our progress notes. We're not just tracking outcomes but we're building a neurological foundation for lasting change.


The 1% Better Revolution

What if instead of trying to transform your entire life overnight, you committed to being just 1% better each day?

  • 1% more confident in social situations

  • 1% more organised in daily routines

  • 1% more patient with yourself during setbacks

  • 1% more willing to try something new


Over a year, that's a 37x improvement. Not through perfection, but through consistent, imperfect action.


Your Progress Toolkit: 5 Game-Changing Strategies


1. The Two-Minute Rule

Can't clean your entire house? Clean for two minutes. Can't exercise for an hour? Move for two minutes. Small actions create big momentum.


2. The Progress Journal

Each evening, write down three things you did well that day. Not achievements but efforts. For example; "I tried something new." "I asked for help." "I showed up even when I didn't feel like it."


3. The Comparison Cure

Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Are you kinder to yourself? More willing to try? More resilient after setbacks?


4. The Setback Reframe

When things don't go as planned, ask: "What did I learn?" instead of "What did I do wrong?" Setbacks become stepping stones, not roadblocks.


5. The Celebration Ritual

Create a specific way to acknowledge progress. Dance to your favourite song, call a friend, write yourself a note, treat yourself, just make it memorable.


Creating Your Progress-Friendly Environment

If you're supporting someone else:

  • Ask "How did that feel?" instead of "Did you succeed?"

  • Celebrate attempts: "I'm proud of you for trying"

  • Share your own imperfect moments: "I struggled with that too"

  • Focus on effort: "I noticed how hard you worked on that"


If you're supporting yourself:

  • Speak to yourself like you would a good friend

  • Set "minimum viable" goals (What's the smallest step you could take?)

  • Create accountability without judgment

  • Remember: courage isn't the absence of fear – it's action despite fear


The Ripple Effect of Embracing Imperfection

When you choose progress over perfection, something magical happens. You give others permission to be human too. You create spaces where vulnerability is welcomed, where struggle is normalised, and where growth is celebrated in all its messy glory.Your willingness to be imperfect becomes someone else's permission to try.


Your Next Imperfect Step

Right now, as you're reading this, what's one small step you could take toward something that matters to you? Not a perfect step. Not a giant leap. Just one small, imperfect, human step forward.


Maybe it's:

  • Sending that text you've been putting off

  • Trying one new coping strategy

  • Asking for help with something you've been struggling with alone

  • Celebrating a recent effort you've been dismissing


The world doesn't need your perfection. It needs your courage to keep moving forward, one imperfect step at a time.


At Supporting You, we believe your journey is excellent exactly as it is; complete with detours, rest stops, and scenic routes. Because life isn't about reaching a perfect destination. However, it's about becoming more authentic and enjoying the journey, no matter how hard it may be.


Need extra support in your journey?



 
 
 

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